The Dart(s) Board

What a great way to end the season with a good turnout for Rachel's Day and the presentation of the League Cup.
Ok, the first part was true with the second clearly demonstrating the League's inability to tell the truth about anything.
Their statement wasn't worth the paper it was written on. It merely proved to serve nothing more than a temporary appeasement which ended with contempt towards Dartford Women FC while they continue to have Fulham's back. Inadvertently ofcourse. Did we really expect the FA to send a blazer to present the trophy at Princes Park?
All they've done is kept the wolves at bay until the season is put to bed. But I'm more intrigued as to what's being concealed beneath that bed.
My message to those responsible for what is increasingly looking like a cover up is enjoy your summer vacation. But not too much. Enjoy your sun loungers by the pool, sipping your Delboy cocktails, while we tell the rest of the world how utterly incompetent you are. So just relax and let us do the rest.
It even looks like the London & South East Regional League has even breached its own rules.
Section 8 (e) basically says irrespective of what's happened in previous rounds, once rumbled it's the most recent team played in the competition that get's the reprieve. In this case it would have been Millwall Lionesses. But no. The easier option was chosen to present us with the trophy on our last game of the season. And they couldn't even be bothered to do that in the end. Talk the talk, end of. Disgraceful.
To be honest, with the excellent facilities at Dartford Women FC, the professionalism of our coaching staff and the dedication of our gifted players, the London & South East Regional League currently doesn't match up to the standards set by our club. Next season the LSERL has to up it's game if it's going to regain a fraction of the credibility it's already lost. Mainly due to the debacle of the League Cup. But it's by no means an isolated case. This wasn't the first time our women's team have been let down hours before a game this season. Like the farce at Haywards Heath when the entire first team and under 18's allegedly fell ill the day before our girls were due to travel to their ground.
They must have all woke up Saturday morning puking in unison. Maybe they even shared the same bucket. Doesn't bear thinking about does it. And what did the League do about it? Nothing, apart from awarding us the points plus 3 miserly goals, with most of the season still left to have rearranged the fixture. They even falsely named the goalscorers taken from our previous game at home to Millwall. It's sheer bloody laziness if you ask me.
The match with Fukham was irrelevant in comparison to the main event, raising atleast £5000 for a very worthy cause.
Yes, yes, yes I know they were the better side on the day. But even then all is not what it seems. Look below the surface and our girls hadn't played a competitive game since May Ist, due to the LSERL caving in by allowing Fulham to manipulate the fixtures. Why wasn't they made to play more midweek games like other teams with games in hand? Bo Parker comes on late in the second half with number 47 on her back. Talk about taking the you know what with a capital 'P'. Which they've consistently been doing all season.
We didn't get off to the best of starts when Madi Parsonson prodded the ball past an exposed Jade Charlton as early as the 3rd minute.
36 mins and a Stella Gandee Morgan shot from the edge of the box doubled the lead.
Darts were very unlucky not to pull one back in the 60th minute when Emily Woodhouse found herself one on one with keeper Amber Webber, who did just enough to divert her shot behind for a corner.
Amina Hanif came even closer to scoring on 81 mins with a great effort from the left side of the area. It was in all the way but somehow Webber got her finger tips to it, diverting the shot over the bar.
Then in the 86th minute Fulham wrapped it up.
After saving the first shot Jade was unlucky to see the ball fall into the path of substitute Becky Stormer who fired home.
Fulham were then awarded a penalty in injury time but Jade was equal to it, saving from Megalie Mendes.
This followed a pathetic attempt by one of their players to run down the clock by collapsing next to Woodhouse, who never laid a finger on her.
Same old Fulham, cheating in the last minute of normal time right up until the very end of the season.
Can't say they haven't been consistent.
Player of the match Rachel Ahern and the Dartford Ultras.

PLEASE - BEFORE READING THIS - UNDERSTAND THAT I MAY , INADVERTENTLY, write some mistakes (let's call them inadvertent errors, as we like to call them between friends).

INTRODUCING THE NEW WORD OF THE YEAR : INADVERTENTLY - In-ad-ver-tent-ly

Someone has told me, inadvertently, the season's over.
Ah well, couldn't have come too soon to be honest with the endeavours of Fulham FC management and administration department well and truly cocking things up with their inadvertent mistakes. Mind you there was only one inadvertent mistake, that's not too bad is it? No mate there were two, no three, no correct me four, no five, no six - For gaud's sake how many inadvertent mistakes has FuKham made? Oh blimey keep counting seven, eight, NINE inadvertent administrative errors. For gaud's sake someone shoot the inadvertently incompetent piece of s**t who inadvertently made NINE, yes NINE inadvertent errors. Three players in three games equals NINE. But if we put it in small enough writing we can bury this, and no-one will ever know .. he.he.. Speak up you plonker I can't hear you!

Why is Tier 5 Women's football becoming like the House of Commons - political bollocks? The guilty party gets more or less praised for their attempts to (inadvertently) break the rules but inadvertently got it wrong. But the innocent parties get thrown to the wolves and get ... well nothing.. not even an apology. (and the cup is on its way ... (inadvertently) using EVRI. I wonder if the club, inadvertently or otherwise, ever got compensated for the deposit on the coach booking for the FuKham match (sorry inadvertently spelt wrong - you'd better dock me three points - or call me a run-over (inadvertent mistake) - It's called a Walkover.

Was the FCUK[/i]ham (sorry, inadvertently using predicative text again), I must be more careful in what I type I could get myself into trouble - although I will claim it was all inadvertently caused by my inadvertent mistakes made by my incompetent stubby fingers, due to a bigger inadvertent mistake by my mother and my father.

I can't take any more of this. Who is writing this inadvertently shameful load of drivel. I need a holiday. But I bet I even make an inadvertent mistake and book Dublin instead of Dubai. Same place ain't it? - Just simply a pure inadvertent mistake, anyone from Fugham could have made it. - If you were studying this post carefully you will have noticed that I cunningly (not inadvertently) moved one key to the left. So in case of inadvertently referring to them as FCUKham (sic - inadvertent mistake there) they are now Fujham.
- so perfect. I suppose we could refer to them as FUDGHAM - [Fudge is a type of candy, often made with sugar, butter, and milk - unless of course the milk operator inadvertently added some cow turds in with it] - Have they been buttering certain turds (oops sorry, inadvertently pressed five wrong keys - I meant people. (or did I? - you know, I don't know. Am I bovvered (inadvertent use of slang there).

I have just one last act to perform ................... pressing the SUBMIT button.

No! I can't make myself do it. Everyone will think I'm a complete loony. But maybe that's what having Fujam in your league does to you.

Hang on though. They went up! Thank FCUKham for that.

Right i'm pressing the button ........................................................................................................................ NOW

Ugh -- inadvertently pressed the button next door: "Preview".
Ah Gotcha

Just so there's no mistaking things: INADVERTENT : "not resulting from or achieved through deliberate planning.
Oh crickey are you telling me there was a Fujham plan to all of this!

INADVERTENTLY: "without intention; accidentally." Ah, ain't that sweet. They inadvertently made NINE teeny-weeny mistakes -
and everyone else had to suffer from it. ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT!"

Here goes nothing, (if you want to call me I will inadvertently use NINE incorrect numbers, but will still be very pleased to hear from you, and reply within two-working days - or it might be NINE. Why don't you just go away and leave me alone. I've got fixtures & fittings to sort out .......
(number 1 - WALKOVER will play number NINE WALKOVER RESERVES. That concludes the draw for next years cup, league and walkover competition.
Bye for now/ SUBMIT

written by Jonas Cuttlefish (inadvertently swallowed by a whale-like object)

TonyDart wrote: Wed May 21, 2025 7:45 pm PLEASE - BEFORE READING THIS - UNDERSTAND THAT I MAY , INADVERTENTLY, write some mistakes (let's call them inadvertent errors, as we like to call them between friends).

INTRODUCING THE NEW WORD OF THE YEAR : INADVERTENTLY - In-ad-ver-tent-ly

Someone has told me, inadvertently, the season's over.
Ah well, couldn't have come too soon to be honest with the endeavours of Fulham FC management and administration department well and truly cocking things up with their inadvertent mistakes. Mind you there was only one inadvertent mistake, that's not too bad is it? No mate there were two, no three, no correct me four, no five, no six - For gaud's sake how many inadvertent mistakes has FuKham made? Oh blimey keep counting seven, eight, NINE inadvertent administrative errors. For gaud's sake someone shoot the inadvertently incompetent piece of s**t who inadvertently made NINE, yes NINE inadvertent errors. Three players in three games equals NINE. But if we put it in small enough writing we can bury this, and no-one will ever know .. he.he.. Speak up you plonker I can't hear you!

Why is Tier 5 Women's football becoming like the House of Commons - political bollocks? The guilty party gets more or less praised for their attempts to (inadvertently) break the rules but inadvertently got it wrong. But the innocent parties get thrown to the wolves and get ... well nothing.. not even an apology. (and the cup is on its way ... (inadvertently) using EVRI. I wonder if the club, inadvertently or otherwise, ever got compensated for the deposit on the coach booking for the FuKham match (sorry inadvertently spelt wrong - you'd better dock me three points - or call me a run-over (inadvertent mistake) - It's called a Walkover.

Was the FCUK[/i]ham (sorry, inadvertently using predicative text again), I must be more careful in what I type I could get myself into trouble - although I will claim it was all inadvertently caused by my inadvertent mistakes made by my incompetent stubby fingers, due to a bigger inadvertent mistake by my mother and my father.

I can't take any more of this. Who is writing this inadvertently shameful load of drivel. I need a holiday. But I bet I even make an inadvertent mistake and book Dublin instead of Dubai. Same place ain't it? - Just simply a pure inadvertent mistake, anyone from Fugham could have made it. - If you were studying this post carefully you will have noticed that I cunningly (not inadvertently) moved one key to the left. So in case of inadvertently referring to them as FCUKham (sic - inadvertent mistake there) they are now Fujham.
- so perfect. I suppose we could refer to them as FUDGHAM - [Fudge is a type of candy, often made with sugar, butter, and milk - unless of course the milk operator inadvertently added some cow turds in with it] - Have they been buttering certain turds (oops sorry, inadvertently pressed five wrong keys - I meant people. (or did I? - you know, I don't know. Am I bovvered (inadvertent use of slang there).

I have just one last act to perform ................... pressing the SUBMIT button.

No! I can't make myself do it. Everyone will think I'm a complete loony. But maybe that's what having Fujam in your league does to you.

Hang on though. They went up! Thank FCUKham for that.

Right i'm pressing the button ........................................................................................................................ NOW

Ugh -- inadvertently pressed the button next door: "Preview".
Ah Gotcha

Just so there's no mistaking things: INADVERTENT : "not resulting from or achieved through deliberate planning.
Oh crickey are you telling me there was a Fujham plan to all of this!

INADVERTENTLY: "without intention; accidentally." Ah, ain't that sweet. They inadvertently made NINE teeny-weeny mistakes -
and everyone else had to suffer from it. ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT!"

Here goes nothing, (if you want to call me I will inadvertently use NINE incorrect numbers, but will still be very pleased to hear from you, and reply within two-working days - or it might be NINE. Why don't you just go away and leave me alone. I've got fixtures & fittings to sort out .......
(number 1 - WALKOVER will play number NINE WALKOVER RESERVES. That concludes the draw for next years cup, league and walkover competition.
Bye for now/ SUBMIT

written by Jonas Cuttlefish (inadvertently swallowed by a whale-like object)

If anyone from Fulham should inadvertently stumble across this post then I hope you are feeling proud of yourself. Proud of sending one of our most loyal and respected supporters over the edge.
Hang your head in shame.

A cracking post from Ajaxman Then I inadvertently came across TonyDarts post, so I wrote to Feckham FC whom I'm told like animals.
Dear Cheetahs,
I'm so glad that the people in charge Panda to your every whim and I hope that after winning the league, you are having a Whale of a time. Why you have to keep Carping on about how you are so sorry. Let's face it, you were just Lion. You Slug it out and cried Wolf when you had to play at Saltdean.
Oh Dear, we all feel so sorry for you - did your coach get dirty? The people in charge must be Cuckoo to make you Slug it out all that way - how Batty of them. However, a few songs by the Beetles on the way home must have made you lot Ratty - why not Bat out of hell? Perhaps a few films might have been better. Monty Python? Crocodile Dundee?
I'm Dog tired now and have to go you Foxy lot.
Good luck for next season and the league will miss you - Knot.

snappersteve

Who the hell is Jonas Cuttlefish anyway? but I like his style........ sort of.
Do you know, everything Jonas does in life, apparently, is deliberately wrong, but due to new laws passed last week, inadvertently, by the Judge, means that he can now be let off EVERYTHING.

I like that. Freedom of expression has been made more powerful than ever now. Do you know that I drove through NINE red lights recently, but was let off because I merely stated I had inadvertently forgot what the speed limit was. Hey Jonas, you're a free man; but we'll catch that law-abiding person, sling him in jail and let him rot. I JUST LOVE BRITISH JUSTICE.

Jonas might need to explain a bit about himself here: He told me once; "Did you know that Spike Milligan had previously said he wanted his headstone to bear the words “I told you I was ill”. However, because Milligan was buried at St Thomas' churchyard in East Sussex, UK, the diocese wouldn’t let him have the line written. So just like Milligan, people are finding that when dealing with officialdom - DON'T EXPECT AN ANSWER.

People have asked me, do I feel better now?

I answer, Yes thank you. My writings and ramblings have inadvertently, made me feel a lot better.
Thank you for asking.

Tut tut...
Maidstone Utd's Officials stopped a Women's Cup Final, on Sunday, at the Gallagher, between Clapton Women and Dulwich Hamlet, due to both sets of supporters, refusing to take down Clapton's Palestinian flag and Dulwich's Trans flag. It was declared Null and Void.

Decidedly, after last year's debacle when the Dartesses won their cup final, some Toff apparently tried to prevent our girls from celebrating, with their kids and young siblings on the pitch. The geazer fell and had to be cared for... It wasn't funny for him but it was!!!

For this season's cup final, Fulham didn't turn up, due to their players' intelligibility issues...

The Gallagher Stadium... Hmmm!!

That place does not deserve to host another cup final. Both sets of players struggled to get a beer after the Women’s County Cup final this year because the bar shut too early. And I wasn't allowed to hang Flagzilla in the stand as, apparently, Kent FA had only rented two parts of the stadium so no access allowed to the end stand ( where the kids are allowed to chuck all manner of things with impunity, at the away fans). It was ok last season, for both Cup finals. The stewards seemed decent enough, appears they are used at different grounds, even Princes Park. I suppose they are doing as instructed so Gallagher Stadium more than likely at fault. I don't think politics and sport are a good combo, but Clapton and Dulwich must have had those flags up elsewhere with seemingly no problems. Maybe some "officials" have a problem with women's game. I was beginning to think it was only Dartford Women they didn't like.