There's a rather unpleasant aroma wafting down from the Midlands towards the south coast. And I smell a rat. A Birmingham one. Have you seen the size of them?
Even the local moggies are scared to leave the catflap these days, preferring to remain in self-imposed lockdown. Beware of the giant mouse you pussies.
From the banks of the the River Thames heading south towards the badlands of Hill Park, Saltdean across to the Fort Road Recreation Ground, an area best served by the ferry to Dieppe, and back to London in a Bermuda Triangle of clandestine events. For here we have Newhaven FC, participants in the use of the latest in state of the art sporting technology.
Ever heard of the Smart-Switch Ground? Last seasons league champions Dulwich and Saltdean certainly have.
Incidentally, I don't know where Newhaven were originally supposed to be next weekend but it wasn't west London. Fulham were originally due to be away to Saltdean United according to someone who was planning on going there. That this might be nomore than an innocent minor adjustment to the fixture calendar remains to be seen.
Nevertheless, the London and South East Regional League (L&SERL) should be aware this hasn't gone unnoticed and is firmly on the radar in all it's transparency of cinemascopic proportions.
For one thing, we now find ourselves playing Saltdean at home before our title rivals travel take them on at their infamous Hill Park ground. That's according to the league's website anyway and I've got the the screen shot supporting that.
We all know it's a difficult pitch and our girls fought bloody hard there to take all three points in a deserved 1-0 victory. If we beat Saltdean at Princes Park they'll have nothing left to play for by the time they meet Fulham. If we lose we send Fulham laughing all the way to the bank. It also turns out that this fixture will now be contested the very same weekend that Newhaven haven't got a game. Do you ever get the feeling you know what someone is going to do before they do?
Should this game be switched to Fort Road to play on a pitch more suited to the style of the title contenders then I will be in contact with the football association regarding the integrity of the L&SERL. Because it will be last season all over again. Saltdean's players are shit pitch specialists. Anywhere half decent and they get turned over.
And it doesn't end there either. The points awarded to us for both our fixtures with Haywards Heath are a complete farce. Not only will this disadvantage our top scorer in her pursuit of the golden boot award but will be significantly detrimental to our goal difference. Especially considering Fulham recently received a 12 goal bonus courtesy of the antics of Ebbsfleet United, whose manager was sacked not long afterwards. And deservedly so. Back to back 6-0 defeats while fielding 16 year olds. What was that all about?
This division is just 22 league games. Plenty of time for Haywards Heath to fulfill their obligations. And why do we have to wait until May 18 to play our final league game with Fulham? That time of the year should be dedicated to the end of season icing on the cake and a great afternoon out in the form of the League Cup Final.
It seems whatever those at Craven Cottage want they get thanks to the weak appeasers of the L&SERL, kowtowing to the demands of a Premier League club.
People say Fulham have money. Ofcourse they have. They're so bloody tight they won't even provide food for the opposing team's players after the game. Or is that just because it's Dartford?
Once again it's increasingly looking like another interesting season for all the wrong reasons under the L&SERL's watch.
And if Fulham do manage to get their game against Saltdean, as well as other remaining fixtures to avoid playing on grass between now and the end of the season, switched to an alternative venue or employ any other methods to gain questionable advantage, then the integrity of fair play must be called to account.
THE BIRMINGHAM RAT
Re: THE BIRMINGHAM RAT
Great post Ajaxman. At the end of this season, the Dartford girls will be able to hold their heads high, look in the mirror and say "we did our best, played our hearts out, didn't expect, nor get, any favours". A lot of other players in the L&SERL will not be able to do so with any conviction.